We got back to Denver on Sunday night, and Bill had Monday off (Columbus day). I went into work, and on Tuesday morning left for a short trip to SF. As always do, I texted Bill when the plane landed, while it was still taxing to the gate. He normally texts back to ask how the flight was. But this time it was different.
Right after I texted "landed", he didn't text back, instead he called me. I picked up but couldn't hear him, so I hung up. He called back again, but again I couldn't hear him. Now he texted "call me as soon as you get off the plane". It was clear there was an emergency.
We were at the gate now, but there was still a number of folks in front of me. That morning the plane was a 777, and although I was sitting in the front, I wouldn't get off for at least another 5 minutes. I texted back "what is going on? Is it Sasha?" I asked that because she was due to go to the vet that morning and be put under to get her teeth cleaned.
Bill text back "no, not Sasha". Now I'm freaking out as thoughts of kids and parents went through my head. Then Bill texted "Chris Williams - he hung himself".
I was in shock. As was Bill. He has just found out the news a few minutes back. Now we were on the phone, and all the questions one would ask - how did he find out, why would he do this, how can it be true. Bill, clearly shaken, proceeded to explain that folks from work were looking for Chris Tuesday morning. Chris has been a friend of ours for over 16 years and worked with Bill for over a decade, very closely as they were the two lead developers. Chris has been Bill's boss for the past 5+ years. He has relocated back to North Carolina, so normally all the early morning work injuries would go to Chris.
However this morning, folks couldn't find Chris. Bill then called/texted him and couldn't reach Chris either. Chris' sister Dawn and brother in law Eric were also friends of ours, who had recently moved from Colorado to Asheville NC (3.5 hours from Durham). Someone then reminded Bill of that, and he thought it was a good idea to ping Eric to ask about Chris.
Eric reach out to Chris' wife, Jen. Jen and Chris were separated and headed for a divorce, one of the many complex reasons behind Chris's depression. Jen said Chris missed their counseling session, so decided to go to Chris's house to check on him. There she found him, and called 911.
I don't want to think of why or pass blame. Depression takes you to dark places and tell you many lies. Chris was seeking help, but over that weekend, no one knows what happened, what went through his head and why he lost hope for life. We never thought it would end like this since he adored his children (Grover 8 and Maisie less than 2). For them, m heart hurts most. They lost their father forever, and suicide comes with many other emotions.
Bill was in shock, and so was I. He didn't know who to call, as people looking for him had asked him to give them an update. I told him to call Steve, Chris' boss, with whom Bilk had a big blowout a couple of months back over the sale of the company. But this was bigger than any flight. This was important and Bill needed to call Steve. So he did.
Steve has turned out to be very human throughout this whole process. Chris was his right hand man and he knew and worked with Chris for a decade. He cried, but held strong as he made all the calls, sent company emails, let the new parent company know. He checked in with Bill multiple times a day, as both worked through their emotions.
After a couple hours in the office, I cancelled my meetings and took an early flight back to Denver. I wanted to be with Bill. We took the next day off to be with friends who knew Chris. Talking about it helped.
Grieving for Bill will take time. His work is tied to Chris, emails and calendars to be forwarded, and the usual routine their shared for many years.
I hope Chris is in peace. I hope his kids can remember happy memories of their dad, and not only think of how he died. I hope Jen, Dawn and the rest of the family can unite for the kids.
No comments:
Post a Comment